EllenTwo Limericks
by Ellen Birrell (”BURR ell”)
As submitted for KUER’s “Life in Utah” contest
There arrived a president to Zion
Whose Senator also did fly in.
A protest ensued
Hatch came unglued
Announcing “There are Nutcakes in Zion!”
There once was a Senator Buttars.
Evolution did make him shudder.
Good at maligning
and Intelligent Designing
But Utahns gave no bread for their Buttars.
March 4th, 2006 at 9:05 pm
Here’s another:
George Bush is a man to despise,
a pol who knows nothing but lies;
he went to Iraq,
amid mounds of flak,
the world hath now tears in its eyes.
March 4th, 2006 at 11:54 pm
Nice limerick for a lawyer-engineer!
March 5th, 2006 at 8:44 am
There once were two groups of losers
who pretended as lifestyles choosers
they each thought each other
not sister, nor brother
though one prayed the others salvation
the other sat absorbed, in its slow denigration
we those outside, do laugh and deride
this mysterious tide
of hoorah for our side
The two fit together, as peas in a pod
each claiming favor of some invisible god
one lives external, and temples they build
the other internal, to itself, does it shill
just so long as someone else pays the bill
the two orbit each other, a system so ill.
Which one is which? cheers glenn and Happy Sunday.
Don’t let your religion go to your head.
March 5th, 2006 at 9:05 am
There are 5-6 hundred of these waiting to come out, they are all on paper. This item took 3 minutes.
I have some great patriotic stuff about Cheney.
From my head .5 minutes.
cheney had his heart gone bad
donkey dick gone soft, oh so sad
pleasures now simple, as birds softly hooting
liven the dick, to begin random shooting
he reels around and pulls the trigger
shot his lawyer buddy, is what they figure
but how would we know, knaves that we are?
to ponder range of birdshot, and just how far?
as they piled the lawyer into some conveyance
secret service poured dick another, didn’t leave it to chance
“don’t worry dick, it’ll be 18 hours,
now suck down that highball, and go get yourself a shower”
and our leaders stare down from their ivory tower
excuse it in some way, they know not the hour
March 5th, 2006 at 10:46 am
And some more:
Dick Cheney’s a pol to despise,
his forte is tounge-twisting lies;
he hunted with Harry,
and drank lots of sherry,
Brit Hume hath now mud in his eyes.
Karl Rove although short of despair,
is most nervous when Bush takes to the air;
he prepares for the battle,
brought on from the prattle,
of Bush and his endless hot air.
PS. Verily, I say, Nephi appreciates the gratis comment re what-might-have-been but, in fact, enjoys his real-life calling of destroying pristine wetlands and driving eight-cylinder SUV’s during the hot summer months in slow moving traffic - keeps me in line with the Utah legislature.
March 5th, 2006 at 12:44 pm
Hey Glenn,
Are we supposed to be impressed? Only three minutes?
By the way, in case your half-wit brain didn’t detect a succinct cadence in the top post, limericks MUST have five lines with aabba rhyme scheme. Do us all a favor and save your gobbledygook rants for http://www.wavesoffear.com.
You make me thirsty and give me a headache at the same time.
March 5th, 2006 at 3:02 pm
If there was a cadence in that poem I missed it, and was not aware the poem nazis were on patrol. If so Iwould have spent a couple of more minutes, writing within the lines. cheers glenn
March 5th, 2006 at 3:10 pm
Nephi, I love the tendency to conformity, predictable. g
March 6th, 2006 at 3:45 pm
Nephi, way to hold back on how you really feel about Glenn’s ability to compose limericks. I thought the same thing but decided to take the kinder, gentler approach and ignore Glenn hoping it would just go away. I also considered who we’re dealing with. Your limericks are very clever, who knew?
March 7th, 2006 at 10:58 am
A poem on Patriotism
Let Freedom ring, a song we used to sing
we let it slide and now we see, it doesn’t mean a thing
how then will we bring ourselves back to center point?
or will the Country simply crumble down and disjoint?
to many process is mystery
to me, it’s only history
in order then to right the ship
words of freedom must fall from our lips
and more than that, the words must manifest to more
so we can hear that freedom ring, on every single shore
as a Country growing up, we did amazing things
now as we are growing older, memories await, in wings
people move conditioned, as though they were an ant
I sat back and watched these things, now I rave and rant
I hope that we can right these ills, don’t want to say we can’t
as the rich and corporations, come up that we shant
time has told the story, of the failing man
it happens all quite simply, when we failing can
not about the bells and whistles of the modern age
but living with each other, simple told as sage
in this time there is no more virtue with a gun
it is time , all of us, to stand up and be one
the thing you would have
hope it for others too
do it for ourselves, as just the right thing to do
be careful what you want, for it in time come true
and if you dwelt in sickly thoughts, it’s coming home to you
remember too, that you are your enemies defined
make them cruel and ugly, our countrys’ virtue undermined