One Utah

Today, G. Gordon Liddy said that “those in the news media … would rather the United States lose a war than have history write that George W. Bush was a successful president.”

So I got to thinkin. What WOULD have to be true for “history [to] write that George W. Bush was a successful president.” No matter what the media says….
The following would have to be true.

On Iraq:

1. Saddam supported and financed bin Laden.

2. Saddam had WMD

3. Rumsfeld was a military and diplomatic genius backed by the international community.
4. US troops were greeted with flowers and kisses in Baghdad

5. Post invasion planning was flawless. We transferred command over the Iraqi army to benevolent interim leaders and then to democratically elected ones. Electrical and water services are at new highs since the invasion, the oil is flowing and the economy thriving.
6. We sent in plenty of troops trained in civil reconstruction and enough to secure the borders and weapons stockpiles throughout Iraq. We honored the Iraqi heritage by paying particularly close attention to the museums, antiquities, and historical sites.
7. The Shiites forgave the Sunnis for their inhumane treatment since the 50’s.

8. The Iraqis fully embraced our idea of democracy and held open and fair national elections all in one one-hundreth of the time it took us.
On Afganistan (AFN):
1. We found bin Laden and brought him to justice.

2. All the warlords in AFN made peace and surrendered historically ancient control over there regions to civil government.

3. AFN is no longer the biggest source of opium production in the world.

4. Poverty in AFN is far below what it was under the Taliban, and no one is torured anymore.
On Medicare Precription Drug Benefits:
1. It only ended up costing the original $450 billion claimed by the administration, and was really simple for anyone to enroll, and it brought drug prices down below what they cost in Canada.

Federal Deficit:

Traditional conservative economic policy blossomed under a republican controlled congress and executive, and the deficit has dropped, the middle class is exploding, and economic investment and savings are at an all time high.

Open Honest Government

1. The Senate Ethics Committee was left in tact to do its work.

2. The number of classified documents dropped in half as compared with the prior administration. Freedom of execution requests are respnded to in record time.

3. The best and the brightest from Paul O’Niel to Colin Powell are giving back to there country from positions of great power and influence.

Human Rights and International Treaties:

1. Inspite of the ticking time bombs, we have treated prisoners of war with the same level of respect we demand for our captured soldiers, and prisoners picked up outside of the battlefield were accorded the rights provided by the constitution and reaffirmed by a supreme court decision on that very subject.

International Relations:
1.
2.
3.

Enivironmental & Energy Milestones:
1.
2.
3.

This dreamy stuff is putting me to sleep. Hopefully, by morning, some little elves will have finished describing all the things for which the opposite would have to be true in order for “history [to] write that George W. Bush was a successful president.”

This entry was posted Friday, March 24th, 2006 at 12:21 am and is filed under Human Rights, Laugh, National Politics, War. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.