Glenden BrownOur Kids Will Hear the Music
I’m testing my technical skills today - can I successfully upload and post a file online then refer to it in a post. BTW, Hi! Jenni! Yeah that was me at the panel discussion and the radio interview on sexuality education.
The Circles of Sexuality is a model for understanding human sexuality that I find immensely valuable - both as a teacher and in my personal life. It may be oversharing, but the longer I live with this model and integrate into my life, the more health and wellbeing I find in my sexuality, the more I live with it, the richer my personal experience as a sexual being becomes.
Last week, in response to my post about comprehensive sexuality education, Cassandra was concerned that we should wait until children are ready to discuss sexuality with them. I appreciate her doing so. I believe we are sexual beings from birth till death. Using the Circles of Sexuality, this makes more sense - sexuality isn’t just sexual activity (the circle of sexual health and reproduction), it is sensuality (healthy touch), intimacy, sexual identity, and sexualization (the misuse of sexuality). From birth, we as humans need healthy touch, emotional and physical intimacy and our sexual identity is developing and growing. For instance, as humans, our gender identity - as males or females - may not change but our understanding can and does grow and change and develop.
In response to Cassandra’s concern about readiness, I believe children are born ready to learn about sexuality - not necessarily sexual activities, but sexuality. Children learn about body image, about healthy touch, and about their identity as sexual beings from the moment they are born and begin interacting with their caretakers. I heard a great line this weekend at the Our Whole Lives training - if children don’t know and experience healthy and loving touch, they won’t know when it’s not healthy and loving. Accurate informaton about sexuality is helpful, not harmful to children’s emotional, physical and spiritual well-being.
In the program I’m familiar with, Our Whole Lives, sexuality is defined very broadly and includes relationships, feelings, correct terminology, and personal physical, emotional and spiritual safety in age appropriate ways. Thus, when teaching where babies come from, we use age-appropriate terms and teaching methods for each age group - children’s stories with younger kids, activties and games with older kids and younger youth, discussion and brainstorming (and some games) with late adolescents and adults.
Successful education in any forum or topic requires parental commitment and involvement. Sexuality education - more so than any other that I can think of - cannot succeed without parental commitment. Parents must have access to the curriculum and in many cases receive some education of their own. For the younger grades, Our Whole Lives includes an amazing Parent’s Guide that reviews the curriculum for parents, provides examples of common questions and invaluable exmaples of answers.
Successful sexuality education it about the music - participants won’t remember every word we “sing” they will remember the “tune.” It’s like walking out of a show that had great music and one really memorable song - you may not know the lyrics but you sure can hum the tune. The goal is to make sure the music our kids hear is great music.
I heard this story a few years ago and it continues to resonate with me. A young woman - I believe she was 15 - had completed Our Whole Lives comprehensive sexuality education. She was invited to a party where her peers were playing a sex game. Having been through Our Whole Lives she had decided she wasn’t ready for sexual activity and she had developped the skills and self esteem to say no. When she realized what was going on, she called her parents and said, “Come and get me. I’ll be on the curb in front of the house.” That’s the power we need to teach our children that they possess and that’s the outcome of effective, comprehensive sexuality education.
October 24th, 2006 at 11:15 am
I think i’ll barf. This is why amerikkka has gone down the tubes.
This whimp wouldn’t last 48 hours in afghanistan, unless he was working in a gay brothel.
Another example of someone, an alleged amerikkkan male, who would get his a– kicked if he had to fight saddam’s 12 y.o. granddaughter (daughter of raghdad).
No wonder the dem party in Utah is a corpse. Between this guy??? and norma matheson’s apparent penchant for deifying her departed husband by having public buildings name for him (at taxpayer expense) and creating a dynasty through her children (which required total stupification utah dem leadership) i understand why there is almost zero voter appeal.
Normal people think you “people” are sick, that goes for the whole trendy crowd.
It almost makes me wish mullah omar was running things here, just for 2 weeks.
October 24th, 2006 at 12:38 pm
Heeey!! It’s back to just say no, ala Nancy Reagan.
It is about parenting, and sexuality is one of many issues they have to deal with if they wish to be successful.
The issue is a subjective one, and as parents are the guardians of their kids, entirely up to them, within the law. The parental avenue is where most that would “help” must direct their focus in changing the lives of kids and their sexuality, within the law.
October 24th, 2006 at 1:59 pm
The connection between what I wrote and Unitary Anne’s response is somewhat tenuous . I think she’s saying she’s opposed to comprehensive sexuality education. For more insight into UA’s comments, head on over to Orcinus where David discusses the use of eliminationist rhetoric by conservatives.
Cassandra – in my congregation, we offer many opportunities for youth to be involved. Through these classes and activities, children learn there are trustworthy adults to whom they are not related. These adults become friends, confidants, advocates, and mentors. Our actions speak louder than words; if we put words to our actions, we would say, “I don’t have to love you, care for you, nurture you, mentor you. I choose to do these things;†that is invaluable for youth. It also provides safe adults to whom they can coinfide when they need guidance and when they are unsure of how to approach their parents. Community becomes an extended family and church becomes a second home – a safe place where kids can grow, explore, make mistakes and still experience being loved and nurtured. Kids are safe to be themselves, to receive love, to adult role-models behaving in responsible ways. It reinforces the messages they get from their parents.
Leading sexuality education classes, I have found that my willingness to talk about things that embarrass me, that make me uncomfortable tells the youth in this class that I’m willing to feel foolish for their sake – that I love them enough to put aside my discomfort for the sake of their wellbeing.
Parents are intimately involved with the sexuality education program - many parents in my congregation are certified trainers. All parents go through a parent orientation that reviews the core values and the content. Based on your comments, I get the impression you think I want parents out of the equation when just the opposite is true - positive parental involvement is integral to the health of children.
October 24th, 2006 at 3:09 pm
I really getting tired of reading Unitary Anne’s repeditive and hateful responses to everything. Methinks I smell a troll. The best response to a troll is to ignore them until he/she gets his/herself banned.
October 24th, 2006 at 3:29 pm
I think Unitary Anne is in pain, hurting badly. After reviewing his/her posts, I think she is reaching out for help the way some children do who learn to interpret punishment for love.
She seems not to really have a position on the issues, but rather lashes out depending on the “pole” of the moment.
Shall we show her some love and see what happens?
October 24th, 2006 at 3:51 pm
I think UAnne is jealous she did not come from an elitist east-coast liberal background like the rest of us. Must be tuff for her.
October 24th, 2006 at 4:12 pm
OneNephi - darn it! I wish I’d known I’m supposed to have an elitist east coast background before I was born and raised in Utah! I always get that kind of thing wrong.
October 24th, 2006 at 5:06 pm
That’s ok GB, you obviously had teachers in school that haled from the coast!
October 24th, 2006 at 5:35 pm
When I bumped into the notion that eastcoastiness (or maybe even Frenchiness) was the only way to the top, I called B.S, staked claim to the virtues of Wasatchiness and never looked back.
October 24th, 2006 at 6:35 pm
Ditto Caveat,
God lives here and she is watching closely
October 25th, 2006 at 5:56 am
Pathetic.
October 25th, 2006 at 8:48 am
G.W. “Chimpus” Bush is pathetic.
Did you all hear that asshole give his little press conference this am? Intertwined in his little gobbledygook rant are hidden messages why we should reward him and maintain GOP control over the congress.
What a flippin loser - down to just a half dozen or so functioning brain cells remaining in his twisted little mind.
October 25th, 2006 at 8:57 am
Well UA is testing positive for truth, and the glad handed manner democrats have opposed this president and his threats leads one believe people that possess such anger are about the only thing that is going to remove the scourge.
False optimism is true pessimism. Cliff, UA isn’t reaching out for love, simply trying to make progressive democrats, especially in Utah, buck up, and realize that with the attitude of recociliation and “love” that dems have is going to get them their ass kicked, along the lines of don’t bring a knife to a gun fight.
Your champeen has to be able to fight dirty and win, plain and simple.
Glendon, YW: Through these classes and activities, children learn there are trustworthy adults to whom they are not related. These adults become friends, confidants, advocates, and mentors.Through these classes and activities, children learn there are trustworthy adults to whom they are not related. These adults become friends, confidants, advocates, and mentors.
So you say ,but the reality is I don’t trust your groups and more than the priests.
October 25th, 2006 at 5:35 pm
right on one nephi. you are getting the spirit.
i was re-reading the federalist papers the other night and got into national security, etc.
i don’t know how i missed this when i was young but the federalist papers are full of intent to depose usurpers (like the neocons and israeli spies) and tyrants (like you know who) through upheavel as may be necessary to the circumstances.
I know we are not YET in actual peril of nazi-ism but damn it is coming closer and closer and i love to hear people talk hard, tough like an iraki insurgent.
We owe the iraki insurgents one thing for sure. They taught americans how to be men. They are the enemy and we support our guys but that doesn’t mean we can’t state the obvious, i.e those are some bad dudes over there.
And i find myself admiring how their women act like real women, not like sluts who have taken the LBT (low back tatoo). All the men i know find the veiled mystique to be very sexually appealing. I guess men think they look hot. Ironic, isn’t it, that women in amrican took it all off to be hot but as the mormons say “modest is hottest”.
Let’s throw mathescum out of office just to show that we are bad MFers just like those iraki sunni fedayeen fighters, and we don’t take no you know what from anybody. If Lavar is as stupid as you posters claim then he will be harmless.
I’ll try to organize a honk and wave or two and maybe some of you can come and we can meet in person while doing good works. I’ll post some times and dates later.
October 25th, 2006 at 7:36 pm
LBT…aka the TRAMP STAMP!! Ride on!
Yes the insurgency is full of bad dudes, near always.
The english called American Patriots insurgents, and what’s more cowards. It didn’t change what a New England Grantsman or other independent types would do during combat to win.
Insurgents have a singular quality. You cannot talk, negotiate, or propagandize true insurgents. The offenses against them and what they are willing to do about it, are beyond words.
They are for lies what the open truth is.
Most of our Founding Fathers were veterans of the Indian Wars, on the brit side against the French, they knew close combat and knew what it took to come out alive, and inflict the most damage. They had seen the method from their Mohawk allies, against Frenchmen and Algonquins every bit as saavy as they.
Those must have been real battles, none of this drop from 20k ft. some munition and dream about being a hero. Anyway, any American soldier walking the ground in iraq knows what it is all about, and seemingly getting more so everyday.
The way to victory isn’t feminine, or even male, it is accomplished with premediditated detachment, like the reality already exists, merely awaiting its execution…
Back to Grantsmen. Reading the diaries of british regulars during the War for Independence is very revealing, most couild not believe men of such apparent wealth would defy the crown and perhaps lose it all, their lives included,.. as the brits were much for summary execution of those not regular army. We were not considered regular army until we, and our French allies, kicked the crap out brit regulars enough times to convince the crown it was not like anything they had faced before.
It would be good to know that the crown has bagged out of Iraq since its own debacle there in the 20’s, and there had to be, as there was in the case of THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, a reason.