Welcome to Zion - For Ken
Ken, Don’t let the Mormons scare you. They are but a stumble away from the rest of us deep down.
Anyone who gets offended with be disfellowhipped before Sunday.
P.S. See Ken’s first post below.
P.S.S. This one’s for Frank.
January 24th, 2007 by Cliff Lyon 
Cliff Lyon
January 24th, 2007 at 4:45 pm
Thanks! I’m still laughing. It’s better than Tiki Bar, but with Al Al instead of La La.
http://www.tikibartv.com/tikibar_episodes.php
January 24th, 2007 at 5:03 pm
Cliff,
Brigham Young University (NOT on direct orders from Gordon B. Hinckley) blocks YouTube, so I’ll have to check it out after I get home from work. ;-)
January 24th, 2007 at 5:06 pm
speaking of Ken, check this out: [the pictures are funny if I knew how to upload them into comments, but just use your imaginations]
Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Greater SLC market:
“Park City Barbie”
She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a million dollar home. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.
——————————————————————————————————–
“Draper Barbie”
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.
———————————————————————————————————–
“Kearns Barbie”
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) unless you are a cop, then we don’t know what you are talking about.
——————————————————————————————————-
“East Bench Barbie”
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won’t be able to afford any of them.
———————————————————————————————————————
“Riverton Barbie”
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken’s butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.
————————————————————————————————————————-
“Emigration Canyon Barbie”
This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet prescription available as well as newly built high rise condo.
———————————————————————————————————–
“Tooele Barbie”
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Butler Barbie’s house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.
——————————————————————————————————-
“The Avenues Barbie”
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Avenues Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.
——————————————————————————————————-
“West Valley Barbie”
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and 2 infant dolls. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. White boy Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.
————————————————————————————————————–
“Provo Barbie”
She’s perfect in every way, mainly due to the high levels of antidepressants in her system. We don’t know where Ken is because he’s always at church meetings.
January 24th, 2007 at 5:15 pm
My wife gets this. Thanks.
January 24th, 2007 at 5:41 pm
An the inversion, aka smog layer is the ‘ghost of old lake Bonneville. Imagine it when there were fewer autos.
Welcome.
January 25th, 2007 at 9:46 am
Cliff; re the Mormom Bicyclists video. I am deeply offended by this blog and hope
you will remove it. Without any credible purpose or value it caricatures two members of a religious group ina humiliating way. As a refugee from Hitler Germany it reminds me of the Nazi Paper called the Stuermer which did the same thing your video does.
It was filled with caricatures of jews designed to humiliate and degrade them in front
of the rest of the German people.
I undertsand the issue you are trying to address, the attitude of the Mormon Church
toward homosexuality. That’s a valid issue for your blog; but it cannot be addressed
by humiliating members of a rfeligious group. I don’t think you intended that; but to me it comes to uncomfortably close to what the Nazi’s did and I sincerely hope you
will remove it,
Love Dad
January 25th, 2007 at 10:11 am
What you expect from Zionazis Walt?
January 25th, 2007 at 11:44 am
Thanks Dad,
To my dear Utah readers: this is in fact my Dad (Walt). After a phone conversation this morning in which Dad asked me to take this video down, I asked him to post a comment looking for feedback from you all.
To be clear, it was my thinking that this video pokes fun at the senseless homophobia in our community and the LDS Church in particular. I so not see how it diminishes gay people. Perhaps that is a generalizational difference between you and me.
It is my position that in great contrast to the what the Nazis did to the Jews, I believe this video in speaks to the humanity of us all including gays. Dad, perhaps you see this as making fun of gays? I certainly don’t. Every time a gay person comes out of the closet, I feel better about my world and for that person.
‘Coming out’ is frowned upon in the LDS church. While the church insists gays be accepted and loved, it is considered deviant. The LDS church (and many of their members) believe gays people can be fixed and go straight and raise families in heterosexual families.
When I posted this video, I was thinking about the the subject of this post.. See their website, and of course the many fine posts on this subject from Glendan Brown.
We are confronted with this bullshit (anti-gay, religiously motivated legislation) every year by legislators who are re-elected every term very much under the mandate that they will pursue this kind of hateful legislation (under the guise of religion)
Dad, please listen to the audio on this post listen to the audio on this post and perhaps you will understand the context of this funny video.
January 25th, 2007 at 12:16 pm
Well if sheep can fixed, what the heck, beats being a rump ranging sodomite, in my book, if you do not like who, or what, you think you are. People can have those Mormon lives, I have former gay friends that are doing it right now, living it up with their wives and genetic offspring.
Interesting that your Dad weighs in with activities he witnessed, and makes the comparison. I have long maintained that the liberal left is inherently fascist. Who cares what our generation thinks? Did those who persecuted Jews, and social pariahs have any sense of their own sins as they committed them? In my experience most people involved in this type of behavior generally do not.
What I would ask is how is this dilemma, but a families’ business, and those they are concerned for. They should discuss this lifestyle and all it’s implications, with the hope that the child you bore would lead the life you had always hoped for it.
How many times did my some of my westchester friends from UVM have to go see a shrink, after they told their parents they wanted to drop out of college? It is what parents and loved ones do when they think you are off track, so your Dads post requires some heavy thinking, from somebody.
Just the same as admonishments that daughters keep their legs crossed until marriage so they do not end up mothers, without Dads for their kids, and undiseased.
I can see being a support for those under pressure from family, but in fact it is not the business of the public, or any laws to restrain families from influencing their own. People have their own free will, and do not need that of others.
January 25th, 2007 at 2:44 pm
Walt - You said the video shows the “missionaries” in a humiliating way. I wonder if you could talk more about that.
If my father were to see this video, the two missionaries kissing each other would be his objection. Like many people in our society he believes that homosexuality is inherently shameful and should not really be discussed. These persons love their queer family members but are nevertheless ashamed of the topic and believe it is humiliating to bring the issue up; despite loving their queer kids or siblings or whatever, they see homosexuality as a character flaw. Deliberately or not such an attitude suggests that queer folks should be embarrassed to be queer; for that reason it can cause real discomfort to know that the person is trying to be loving yet stumbling on their own feelings about homosexuality.
The video clearly plays on the stereotypes of the Mormon Missionaries - the white shirts, the incredibly uptight nature, the frantic, long denied desire. I can’t count the number of men I know whose personal stories involve the phrase, “Fell in love with my mission companion.” This particular video brilliantly satires and reports that experience. Given the Mormon church’s institutional homophobia and heterosexism, and their tendency to deny the existence of glbt persons, especially gay missionaries, resorting to camp and satire feels like the only safe way to broach the topic.
January 25th, 2007 at 4:04 pm
and it is funny. I’ll bet it would be funny even if people didn’t know what a Mormon was, it would be a unrequited love story, come to fruit, so to speak. With singing.