One Utah

Now for something totally different.  (Okay, not that different!) 

I’ve been totally addicted to Season 3 of Top Chef.  This season’s cheftestants are an appealing group of chefs - they have had a surprising and healthy mesh of personalities so that even the designated “bad guys” are not that bad.  Even Howie, who was obnoxious, loudmouthed, and sometimes just offensive wasn’t a real bad guy - he was honest, straightfoward and determined, but not a bastard (although he survived at least two challenges longer than I expected).  There was something unashamedly authentic about Howie - here’s a guy who has probably taken more than his share of lumps in life and who has never once let the bastards get him down.  It was easy to dislike his behavior, but still like him.

With just the finale left to go, we’re down to three contestants - Hung and Casey and long shot Dale.  Casey’s presence in the finale has been obvious for weeks - she’s clearly got an amazing palate, refined taste, and makes cooking look both artful and effortless.  Hung has also been an obvious one for the finale - he’s clearly a superior chef who has mad knife skills and has mastered the techniques of cooking.  But Dale surprises me.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been cheering for him all season and there were a few times he got the short spoon, as it were.  He’s obviously a great chef and a master of the restaurant both front of the house and kitchen.  He’s smart, flexible, learns from his mistakes and owns his mistakes when he makes them.  He clearly got a heart of gold (and he’s cute as hell - I think have a reality TV crush on him).  His missteps in the competition have generally seemed to come from trying something new rather than playing it safe and I admire that even if I can’t quite do it in my own life.  Dale made a couple mistakes that I was sure would earn him Padma’s parting line, “Pack your knives and go.”  He’s also survived at least twice by not being the worst.  But when Dale has cooked right, he’s obviously, if you’l pardon the pun, cooking with oil.  When he gets it right, he sticks his landing and makes it work.

Dale delivered what I think is the best line of the series:

“Cooking is love; you can taste it when a chef has not had their heart broken and you definitely know who got laid last night.”

Rocco DiSpirito described him in the trout quickfire in his Bravo blog

Dale’s cooking on the slant of the mountain took on a sort of I Love Lucy comedic bent. Everything about him is slightly irreverent and mad, and I love him for it. Imagine if we could actually hear what he’s thinking, unedited.

Ted Allen (of the Fab Five) has been a Dale fan for a while, frequently referring to him as “my brutha Dale.”  In this week’s challenge, they had to cook for “cowgirls and cowboys” and in the confessional Dale said something to the effect of “I don’t know anything about cowboys.  I’ve slept with a few but I don’t know what they eat.”  Ted responded on his bravo blog with

Fast-forward to Cowboy-Land, where the secret ingredient is elk, which makes Hung a little whiny and Dale almost giddy. (An aside: Dale, does your mother need the Brokeback Mountain visual of you sleeping with “a few” cowboys? And how many is “a few?” Bad gay chef!)

Another, related aside: Despite my jokiness, above, it should come as no surprise that I disagree with the posters last week who think Dale should shut up about being gay. (I mean, just look at the outfit I’m wearing in that picture, above.) First of all, if you think about it for even a millisecond, straight folks throw their sexuality in *our * faces constantly, in every medium, far more often than we gays do when we get the occasional spotlight. Second, being “out” accomplishes an important goal for The Gays: it communicates that we’re proud of who we are, it refutes the phony poison from those ignorant fools on the Right, and it empowers other gays to believe in themselves. It matters. Dale is unapologetically being himself, serving as a role model for gays everywhere who might not have otherwise dreamed they could become a chef, or get onto television. Or canoodle with ranch hands. I’m proud of him.

Ted absolutely nails this one - it’s spot on.  Gay folks are always being told “don’t flaunt your sexuality” by people who endlessly talk about their husband, wife, children, in laws.  Walk into any office and on almost every desk you’ll see photos of spouses and children.  Walk past the gay desks and the person items are carefully safely edited.  Come out and you can lose friends you’ve had for years.

To be gay is to face constant reminders that one is different - ranging from the awareness that it’s not always safe to talk about the person you’re dating to the awareness that the language of same sex relationships is problematic. Is he your husband, spouse, partner, lover?  (FWIW, I prefer the terms husband and wife - it’s obvious what they mean and in the context of the English language it is an accurate description of the relationship.)  Even gay friendly straight people stumble with the language of gay relationships.  When a gay person is asked, “could you explain to your nieces/nephews about being gay?” what they hear is “your life needs explained because there’s something wrong with it.”

When Dale comments, for instance, “I’m a big gay chef and I’ll outcook your ass” it’s not bravado.  It’s a way of claiming his identity, of being true to himself and saying “All of me comes into the kitchen to cook and I can do it as well as any of you straight boys in the club.”  

It’s tougher than you might imagine.  I know a number of gay men who are outstanding athletes, but because they’re gay, no one believes they can actually play the game.  A three point basket, a homerun, a tackle that makes the other guys teeth rattle are dismissed as flukes.  Heterosexism is the kissing cousin of sexism - women are often dismissed out of hand because of gender, gay men are often dismissed out of hand because they’re gay, their accomplishments diminished and ignored because women and gay people can’t do certain things as well as men or straight people.  Hey, gay men are ornamental, they can do hair and decorate, but nothing so manly as being a real chef (in a world where women cook and men are chefs, it’s fucked up, but there you have it.)  The artistic community can be brutally homophobic in its own way - real men make art, fuck women, drink booze, fuck more women, use some drugs, then create some more art.  Gay men aren’t entirely trusted to make art because they don’t fuck women.

The outcome is insidious and subtle as far too many gay people settle for second best, refuse to try, refuse to compete, accept a life without a primary relationship or limit their dreams.  A lot of gay men learn quickly to identify the alpha straight male, and stay on his good side (Dale showed unerring judgment on this front - knowing that CJ was the alpha male while Joey and Howie were the guard dogs).  A gay man beating a straight men knows he’s unlikely to get the credit for using his skills - his win will be easily dismissed as a fluke, an happenstance or even the result of imaginary bias in favor of gay people.

Watching Dale on Top Chef refuse to limit himself and watching him unexpectedly win a tough elimination challenge is inspiring for the same reason watching Casey beat the boys is inspiring - the underdog has overcome not just their own limitations and problems but they’ve overcome the inherent prejudice and won.

In the finale, we get Hung the immigrant, drop dead gorgeous Casey, and big gay chef Dale.  No matter which of these three wins (and I’m cheering for Dale), they’ve more than earned it.  (FWIW, I want Dale to win, but I’m betting on Casey - even with the previews she’s been a more consistent chef than either Dale or Hung).

This entry was posted Thursday, September 27th, 2007 at 3:08 pm and is filed under Bigotry, Homophobia, People Are Nuts, Religious Fundamentalism, Republicans, Society, This Blog. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.