Cliff LyonDear God
Sunday, August 31st, 2008
Dear God,
The other night, the Rev. James Dobson’s ministry asked all believers to pray for a storm on Thursday night so that the Obama acceptance speech outdoors in Denver would have to be cancelled.
I see that You have answered Rev. Dobson’s prayers — except the storm You have sent to earth is not over Denver, but on its way to New Orleans! In fact, You have scheduled it to hit Louisiana at exactly the moment that George W. Bush is to deliver his speech at the Republican National Convention.
Now, heavenly Father, we all know You have a great sense of humor and impeccable timing. To send a hurricane on the third anniversary of the Katrina disaster AND right at the beginning of the Republican Convention was, at first blush, a stroke of divine irony. I don’t blame You, I know You’re angry that the Republicans tried to blame YOU for Katrina by calling it an “Act of God” — when the truth was that the hurricane itself caused few casualties in New Orleans. Over a thousand people died because of the mistakes and neglect caused by humans, not You.
Some of us tried to help after Katrina hit, while Bush ate cake with McCain and twiddled his thumbs. I closed my office in New York and sent my entire staff down to New Orleans to help. I asked people on my website to contribute to the relief effort I organized — and I ended up sending over two million dollars in donations, food, water, and supplies (collected from thousands of fans) to New Orleans while Bush’s FEMA ice trucks were still driving around Maine three weeks later.
But this past Thursday night, the Washington Post reported that the Republicans had begun making plans to possibly postpone the convention. The AP had reported that there were no shelters set up in New Orleans for this storm, and that the levee repairs have not been adequate. In other words, as the great Ronald Reagan would say, “There you go again!”
So the last thing John McCain and the Republicans needed was to have a split-screen on TVs across America: one side with Bush and McCain partying in St. Paul, and on the other side of the screen, live footage of their Republican administration screwing up once again while New Orleans drowns.
So, yes, You have scared the Jesus, Mary and Joseph out of them, and more than a few million of your followers tip their hats to You.
But now it appears that You haven’t been having just a little fun with Bush & Co. It appears that Hurricane Gustav is truly heading to New Orleans and the Gulf coast. We hear You, O Lord, loud and clear, just as we did when Rev. Falwell said You made 9/11 happen because of all those gays and abortions. We beseech You, O Merciful One, not to punish us again as Pat Robertson said You did by giving us Katrina because of America’s “wholesale slaughter of unborn children.” His sentiments were echoed by other Republicans in 2005.
So this is my plea to you: Don’t do this to Louisiana again. The Republicans got your message. They are scrambling and doing the best they can to get planes, trains and buses to New Orleans so that everyone can get out. They haven’t sent the entire Louisiana National Guard to Iraq this time — they are already patrolling the city streets. And, in a nod to I don’t know what, Bush’s head of FEMA has named a man to help manage the federal government’s response. His name is W. Michael Moore. I kid you not, heavenly Father. They have sent a man with both my name AND W’s to help save the Gulf Coast.
So please God, let the storm die out at sea. It’s done enough damage already. If you do this one favor for me, I promise not to invoke your name again. I’ll leave that to the followers of Rev. Dobson and to those gathering this week in St. Paul.
Your faithful servant and former seminarian,
Michael Moore
P.S. To all of God’s fellow children who are reading this, the city New Orleans has not yet recovered from Katrina. Please click here for a list of things you can do to help our brothers and sisters on the Gulf Coast. And, if you do live along the Gulf Coast, please take all necessary safety precautions immediately.
August 31st, 2008 at 11:15 pm
Don’t you love it! Now if things go terribly wrong in New Orleans, they can blame Michael Moore and a lot of people won’t know it’s not the same Michael. These guys are good!
September 1st, 2008 at 7:18 am
[...] seems that we have to look no farther than Cliff Lyon of OneUtah.org to further make my point about extreme leftists putting their politics above the safety of human [...]
September 1st, 2008 at 7:30 am
How ironic, I just wrote an essay about Michael Moore calling Gustav, “proof of God in Heaven,” over at KVNUftp.com and here’s Cliff doing almost the exact same thing. Seems Cliff and Mr. Dobson have more in common than they thought. One is willing to call for tragedy and the other is willing to use tragedy to support their political ends. I hope Cliff doesn’t mind that I appended my essay to include his comments. Good show Cliff.
September 1st, 2008 at 10:54 am
Richard,
You’re not really this dumb, are you? First, Michael Moore was saying it as satire. He is responding to the right-wing religious idiots who “prayed for rain” during Obama’s speech and who regularly claim that natural disasters are ”
God’s wrath” for some perceived moral transgression or another.
Second, Cliff’s post is a repost of Michael Moore’s satirical letter to “God”. Yeah, Cliff sometimes doesn’t do the best job of attributing stuff (he should have linked to the original), but come on, it ends with “Your faithful servant and former seminarian, Michael Moore.” It’s quite obvious by the end of the post that these aren’t Cliff’s words, but rather those of Michael himself. The “Dear God” letter reinforces the fact that Michael is making fun of religious nuts with his comments on Countdown.
September 1st, 2008 at 11:43 am
I read no disclaimer separating the words of Micheal More from Cliff Lyon. The only assumption a reader can make in this case is that he is echoing his beliefs. If he would like to point out where he agrees or disagrees, I will certainly take back the assumption. Also Don, if it makes you feel better as satire, then have at it. It doesn’t change the fact that Moore would love to have another Katrina to capitalize on during the RNC.
If this is just Satire and it’s OK because of it, do you feel the same about the video produced by Focus on the Family? Of course you do right? Maybe you need to come over to KVNU and watch the video of Moore’s comments again and think to yourself, “How funny this satire that I am watching is about God causing Death and destruction as payback for Republican sins. Man that Moore, he sure is a funny guy, when he laughs it makes me want to laugh with him…”
Is there a single thing that you can think of that a liberal could do that you would disagree with? just one?
September 1st, 2008 at 11:59 am
Ok, Don… Perhaps I was a little hard on you and perhaps I am “Dumb” as you say. Please help me understand, Don. Please if you would, use you vast intelligence to explain what exactly is funny about Moore’s letter or MSNBC comments. What are we not getting? Are you able to do that for me, Don?
September 1st, 2008 at 12:09 pm
“I read no disclaimer separating the words of Micheal More from Cliff Lyon.”
So your excuse is that you can’t figure it out for yourself. Come on Richard, you’re a big boy. Use that (near) genius brain of yours to think logically every once in awhile. Whether or not Cliff is echoing Moore’s beliefs is irrelevant to the point I am making, that being that you are misconstruing the obvious satirical nature of the post by claiming that Moore (and Cliff) really want hurricanes to hit New Orleans simply to further their political aims. If you really believe that (as your post implies) then your acumen is on par with Ken’s.
“Is there a single thing that you can think of that a liberal could do that you would disagree with? just one?”
Nope, Richard, there’s not . . . *rolls eyes*
September 1st, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Richard,
I didn’t say it was funny and I didn’t say you were dumb (I do think you “play” dumb very well though.) I said it was satire. He is mocking those who regularly pray to “God” to further their political causes or who claim that natural disasters are “God’s wrath” imposed on their political “enemies” for perceived moral transgressions.
September 1st, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Oh no Don, according to you they only want to make fun of people dying to use it against the Republicans, they don’t really secretly hope for another Katrina style failure. So, Don please enlighten us, what is so funny about that? You can do it. The great thing about being anonymous is that you can say whatever you like and people never know who you are. Come on Don, give us one of those powerfully insightful statement that “stand on their own” in anonymity. Tell me why I am just being a party pooper and not rolling in laughter about Moore’s statement on MSNBC. Tell us what made you chuckle…
If it makes you feel better you can call me stupid or dumb to help make your point… Or maybe a “Retard”… is that more your cup of tea? After all no-one really knows who you are… So let it all out…
September 1st, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Richard,
Dude, you are building a stronger and stronger case for being branded a right-winger!
September 1st, 2008 at 12:33 pm
Richard, come on, really? Use your brain buddy. They’re not making fun of people dying. They’re making fun of the people who do say such things are “God’s wrath.” I don’t know how much clearer I can make it. Oh well, I tried . . .
Notice how I didn’t call you dumb? I actually gave you the benefit of doubt by saying you weren’t really that dumb. If you keep up the facade though, it might make others wonder. Funny though how your only defense is to attack me . . . again.
September 1st, 2008 at 1:18 pm
We should all Pray for the People of New Orleans and those effected by this Hurricane. Politics has no place in things like this.
September 1st, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Are you serious Don? Man, are the king of spin or what? Have you even watched the video? He’s not making fun of people that say such things when he first starts talking about the issue on MSNBC. He is saying with a chuckle how funny/ironic he finds it that a major hurricane is hitting the U.S. during the RNC. I invite anyone reading this to go and watch the video and compare it to Don’s statement;
“They’re not making fun of people dying. They’re making fun of the people who do say such things are “God’s wrath.”
And Albert, you guys over here are doing a great of pushing me as far as possible to the right as possible to try and distance myself from you. I can only hope that Obama puts some of the contributors here on his “message” team… The entire party would go down in flames leaving only a small pile of smoldering conspiracy theorists.
You two can’t even bring yourselves to admit this was in poor taste and a bad sense of judgment on Moore’s part. Maybe that’s because you both got a chuckle out of it. Even if you were right Don, which you ARE NOT, it is still completely un-called for.
Even Moore knew he went too far and immediately had to back away from his own statement…
September 1st, 2008 at 2:17 pm
Richard:
Poor taste? Naw, your taste buds are fried, dude! Poor taste is having you come to 1U under the guise of being some kind of new age liberal and then standing up for the likes of James Dobson, Jerry Falwell and King George. That, my friend, is poor taste!
September 1st, 2008 at 2:46 pm
Okay, Richard, clearly you are incorrigible so I will state this as plainly as possible, one more time, for anyone else who reads it. It is clear to any rational thinking person what Moore was doing, both in his comments on Countdown and in his “Dear God” letter. He was mocking religious nuts who really think their “God” responds to prayers with rain to drown out an opponent’s political rally and also punishes the U.S. with natural disasters for its supposed moral transgressions.
September 1st, 2008 at 3:53 pm
Albert,
To be fair to Richard, he didn’t exactly stand up for Dobson. In his erroneously zealous post condemning Cliff and Moore, he did imply condemnation for “fanatics” from the religious right as well, including Dobson.
September 1st, 2008 at 4:10 pm
It seems that on this subject, Don we are at an impasse. I concede the satirical, but still in terribly bad taste of Moore’s “Dear God” Prayer… The problem is he should have never gone there in the first place, this event is very serious and shouldn’t have been used as a humorous subject. That said, his statement on MSNBC was anything but satirical. That is why he had to back track and say, “I certainly hope nobody get hurts” right after his offensive statement. PLEASE WATCH THE VIDEO. There was no satire in his statement at all, only sick humor.
Side note - You guys aren’t going to believe this, I flipped over from CNN to FOX before writing this and FOX News is now going around New Orleans showing areas and cutting to copies of their coverage of Katrina. I guess when you can’t get good video of death and destruction, you have to go back and re-sell the old stuff. When I first flipped it over, I thought it was live footage. Maybe this is how Fox gets channel flippers to stop…
September 1st, 2008 at 4:35 pm
Richard O:
You keep trying to direct us to KVNU which claims to stand “For The People.” There is not a person in this country who fights harder for the people then Michael Moore and because Americans are so brainwashed by the corporate media, he gets nothing but guff for his efforts even from people he is helping; YOU. I really don’t know what keeps him going. He doesn’t fight the little guy like Hannity, he fights the powerful and corrupt. He was fighting “outsourcing” before it even had a name in the eighties. If you had been listening to him then, we wouldn’t be begging China and Mexico for money.
Michael’s comments on Kieth Olbermann about Katrina took up a small portion of the interview. He tried to make the case that we shouldn’t be starting any more wars with Iran or elsewhere, Do you think we should beg for more money to fight Iran and Russia while China pulls up a chair, eats popcorn and laughs their asses off like we used to do when we sold weapons of mass destruction to Iran and Iraq and waited for them to kill each other off, “over there.”
As for the point that Don keeps TRYING to make, were you outraged when Jerry Falwell and others said that New York deserved to be attacked on 911.
I didn’t think so! Turn off the Hannity and get with the program, your country is being destroyed from within by the people you support.
September 1st, 2008 at 5:09 pm
You are wrong, Larry… I am disgusted when I hear charismatic leaders from the religious-right making claims for example that hurricanes and AIDS are God’s way of giving retribution for say homosexuality… In fact I blame these misguided religious leaders for causing much of the discrimination against mainstream Christianity. I also don’t agree with O’Reilly when he made the statement about wishing Katrina would have hit the UN.
I also was once a fan of Michael Moore before he began letting his politics take complete control of his “documentaries.” In fact he was one of my inspirations for getting into doing video work, documentaries and eventually blogging. Be clear, I am not completely against Moore using his politics as a guide, I have simply become aware that he and I simply don’t see eye to eye on many issues.
Most here are probably unaware that I have actually produced a political commercial without pay for a Democrat candidate for State Senate in Nebraska. That said, I do not choose my political stances or politicians based on party but by issue. I agree with Republicans on many issues and agree with Democrats on many issues and will criticize both as I see fit. I should also state that I am always willing to move my position on issues if I am given a strong enough argument to do so. It just so happens I have recently been a little tougher on the Dems, but we still do have the RNC to go this week.
Also, Larry, I don’t listen to Hannity but rarely.
September 1st, 2008 at 5:57 pm
AP - A weaker-than-expected Hurricane Gustav swirled into the fishing villages and oil-and-gas towns of Lousiana’s Cajun country Monday, delivering only a glancing blow to New Orleans that did little more than send water sloshing harmlessly over its rebuilt floodwalls.
I guess God has spoken, ur sum’thin like that.
September 1st, 2008 at 6:17 pm
My, it is uncharacteristic of Who/ever to report on something hopeful, but thanks.
Richard O:
Excuse me for being skeptical, but for being a former fan of Michael Moore and not really minding his use of politics in his movies some of the time, you were the one who said here what I knew was going to be the predictable reaction to his bringing up the irony of a Hurricane interfering with the opening of the Republican convention.
I just KNEW somebody was going to say Michael was hoping people would get killed to advance the left wing agenda, but I didn’t expect it to be a fan.
If you respect Michael’s work, you shouldn’t be the one making sure that he’s demonized. I’m sorry, but I’ve looked at the merchandise you’re selling and I just don’t think it’s going to fit my needs.
September 1st, 2008 at 6:19 pm
Richard:
Here is a softball for you. Apply the same standard you apply to Moore, now, to Bush where we was looking for WMD under the podium at the correspondents’ ball, or whatever that stupid event is called, a few years back.
September 1st, 2008 at 6:21 pm
Richard,
“Dude, you are building a stronger and stronger case for being branded a right-winger”!
..and as the round up continued, Albert O, ranch hand from Dunintinkmutch, carefully stoked the fire, his irons gathering up the heat until they fairly glowed red hot. It was yet daylight, so their incandescence was hidden by the the suns’
brightness.
But oh, how they would glow come twilight…., that is when the fun branding began, the one that showed in the fading light, the branding that happened after dark.
It was a painful necessity, and someone had to do it, it was the best part of the job that paid 15 dollars a month. Helped if you liked the fire, and the totin’ of the irons that did the work. ‘Course there was yer steed, and your friendly fellow ranch hands, that helped too.
That was the branding to take pleasure in, the one that stuck..in his mind.
Ok, get along little dogies. Part 2 later.
September 2nd, 2008 at 8:53 am
ALbert, no I don’t think that Bush looking for WMDs under the podium is funny. While I have long supported taking out Saddam, by force if necissary, I did so before the WMD argument and always felt that the humanitarian argument should have been enough for us and the world to want to remove him from power.
September 3rd, 2008 at 3:08 pm
Michael Moore takes bows at the 2004 RNC convention.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you!